Turtle

We have a smaller house and dislike clutter. When you put these two things together, almost nothing gets lost in our house and rarely do we find unknown items behind the couch, under a bed, etc. However, today was different...very different.

Walking toward the kitchen I bumped into a small table. An odd-shaped object behind the table caught my eye. I knew immediately what it was, but could not believe it. I got down on the floor to look more closely and sure enough, it was a tiny turtle - yes, a turtle. It also appeared to be a tiny dead turtle.

We live in a very metropolitan area. Turtles are not common. If there is a turtle sighting in a local pond, everyone shouts and points, "A turtle! A turtle!" like it's a rare, nearly extinct creature. A turtle inside of a home is totally unheard of. So why was there a turtle in my house and how did it get there? I was baffled.

I was also totally freaked out and refused to touch it. I did take a picture of it and sent it to Dave with only the subject line, "call me." The phone rang immediately, "That's a turtle! What's it doing in our house?" We hypothesized for a bit about how he got there and then determined that Dave would remove the dead turtle when he got home from work and I would simply walk around it for the rest of the day. (Feel free to make fun of me, but I was not going to touch the dead turtle.)

All day I tried to figure out how he got there. I ruled out his speed and skill immediately. Dave thought he may have jumped into our luggage - yes, jumped - in Thailand and made the 25 hour trek back THREE months ago. But the thought of this made me ill, had we really had a turtle in our house for three months and not known it - gross. I chatted with a friend for nearly an hour at the pool about the stupid turtle, I became totally obsessed. How does a turtle get into a house without someone noticing?!!

We came home from the pool and I gaged at the new smell as I opened the front door. The dead turtle was rotting and now stinking up our house. My next text to Dave said, "I think he's starting to smell. Save me." I opened the windows for fresh air and got back down on the floor again to examine the turtle one more time. Yep, he was dead and we definitely had a turtle in our house.

Finally, Dave got home and the turtle removal was soon underway. He grabbed a napkin and picked him up. I stopped him just before he tossed him in the outside trash can. "I want to see him. No I don't. Okay, yes, I kind of do. Can you open the napkin?" Dave had put the napkin over his shell to pick him up, so as he unwrapped the napkin the turtle was upside down. We looked down together at the lifeless turtle and saw, "Tortoise. Made in China." imprinted on the bottom of the shell. IT WAS A TOY!!!!!!! Never a dull moment at the Piantanida house.